time to move on.....

time to move on after having leaving my job, it feels so good, free.....

about my husband.... i'll leave this case to the lord... i don't deserve him... and his hung-ups...

having more time with my kids is another thing,it's hard to take care of three growing up kids, so hard to keep up with their needs and yet so rewarding to know that they're growing up to be wonderful and good kids. my kids are my life. nobody can harm them.

so much for referals.....

I got so frustrated when an old officemate of mine forced me to help her get a job for hsbc it took us 7 hours of long waiting at the hr department just to help her only to fail her final interview simply because she doesnt want to be transfered to the other site... my point was, this was the second time I helped her with this! she turned down the job offer before she said because it was too small for her, and now this?! I should've known better! My gosh!
It's so natural of me to help but I just don't get her way of thinking, if she badly needs to be out of the company she's with right now, then why the heck is she so unhelpful, full of pride as if she can find a company like the one she has on her mind!!!! I just waisted my time, my money, my efforts, I wasn't even answering her phone calls and text messages but since we bumped in to each other last night, I just gave way to help her just to get this over with..... I'm frustrated sobra talaga!
I don't want to go home stressed...and so irritated! so I went to this computer shop to do my blog when all of a sudden this shop crew which was a couple started fighting and throwing boxes of all sorts of stuffs....
crazy people I tell you really crazy!!! Now I just want to go home now and be with my kids!

Is the lyrics of the BAD DAY... hehehe

Daniel Powter
Bad Day


Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Is the lyrics of the BAD DAY... hehehe

Daniel Powter
Bad Day


Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

It's been a hard days night..... again....

It's so hard working for somebody who doesn't really trust you that much...
It's so hard to work with a heavy load in your heart, I keep telling myself that I can make it, becomee somebody in my chosen career but, I'm not as good as they are.... no. that's negative.... don't be too negative, it'll affect your work...

And they'll be happy when you're gone.... And if that happens, you needed fallback...
so i'll start looking for other companies that can help get to a better start... di ba? kaya ko naman kaso hindi ko lang gusto yung humahawak sa akin, kailan kaya ako malilipat sa ibang team? baka kasi mabago ang kapalaran ko e.

HUng-up

i KEEP ON GETTING HUNG-UP'S TODAY, IT'S A SUNDAY AND WORKING AT A CALL CENTER HERE IN MANILA IS SOMETHING. AND NINO IS TEASING ME RIGHT NOW. I SENT TOO MANY EMAILS TO GUNA, I DONT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE IMPRESSION THAT I'M AN EAGER PUPPY. BUT I AM ANYWAY....

I JUST HOPE THAT HE'LL LIKE MY MESSAGES...

My secret love....

souhait nous pourrions être plus que des amis. mais je sais que c'est où notre amitié doit finir. je souhaite votre bonheur, je souhaite que j'aie été celui qui pourrait vous donner cela.
wish we could be more than friends. but i know this is where our friendship must end.i wish for your happiness, i wish i was the one who could give you that.

les temps merveilleux nous avons dépensé ensemble, ce que nous avons pensé à la vie, votre culture, votre sourire, quand vous faites vos mouvements plus idiots, il m'incite à vouloir vous vouloir, mais je biseaute

you serve as my inspiration everyday, the wonderful times we spent together, what we thought about life, your culture, your smile, when you do your silliest moves, it makes me want to want you, but i cant

Comment vous souriez des marques je frisson avec crainte que je pourrais tomber pour vous tellement profondément, Je pourrais me noyer. votre parfum s'attardera à l'intérieur de moi pour toujours, vous êtes celui, le droit pour moi mais lui est trop tardif pour celui, nous avons le monde différent à vivre, différentes familles à garder, et il me blesse sachant que nous sommes celui qui devrait être ensemble

How you smile makes me shiver with fear that I might fall for you so deep, I might drown myself. your scent will linger inside of me forever, you are the one, the right one for me but it's too late for that, we have different world's to live, different families to keep, and it hurts me knowing we are the one who should be together

mais pourquoi la pente il soit les deux de nous, seulement amis

but why cant it be the two of us, only friends

Suspicious Minds
(Mark James)

We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds

So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see
suspicion in your eyes?

Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die
When honey, you know
I've never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah

*****************************************

This song is a wonderful description of my relationship with my husband...Oh, my gosh!
hormones!!! My hormones are kinda' abnormal today, i emailed him just to let him know i've been to Vietnam, I know he's proud of me.....

God, how I wish I had someone to call my own now.... i need him badly.... nobody knows how hard it is to be this lonely.

mother's day pa naman

I miss bel but hanggang dito na lang ito sa isip ko,
on my mind,
i can love him freely,
see what i want to see
imagine what i can imagine,
it will always be him.

how i wish he can feel the same for meeeh,
unfortunately he doesnt that's why
i just play my visions inside my naive mind.

I've let go but on my mind,
we have a beautiful relationship.

hindi kaya maging psycho na ako sa mga pinagagagawa ko?
Oh...., when will this yearning ends?,

buti pa sya may iba na,
he moved on, leaving me and my kids ng ganito.....
kami hirap, lost.
sana marinig na ng langit ang daing naming mag-iina....
sana....

Family Day.....

I volunteered for our family day affair here at work.... so excited to see so many people, tl chie gave me an ultimatum to perform tom pass my stata, otherwise she'll give me a c.a. and then termination. I just dont care anymore.... hindi naman nya ako talaga tinulungan in the first place, alam ko na dapat sarili kong asikasuhin ko pero, i just don't know kung sya ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako makausad sa work.... hhhhhhhaaaaayyyyy......

I miss Guna..... wish he was here so that I can tell my problems....

hung-up......

new beginnings
beachin' out! -- i just wanna be normal....
May 2, '06 3:35 AMfor everyone

"Unwritten"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefinedI'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplannedStaring at the blank page before youOpen up the dirty windowLet the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distanceSo close you can almost taste itRelease your inhibitionsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsThe rest is still unwrittenOh, oh, ohI break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the linesWe've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that wayStaring at the blank page before youOpen up the dirty windowLet the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distanceSo close you can almost taste itRelease your inhibitionsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsThe rest is still unwrittenStaring at the blank page before youOpen up the dirty windowLet the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distanceSo close you can almost taste itRelease your inhibitionsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsThe rest is still unwrittenThe rest is still unwrittenThe rest is still unwrittenOh, yeah, yeah

My Vietnam experience...

I went to vietnam in hanoi for a 10 days reseach expedition for hsbc and an ngo at australia. It was so wonderful, The place was a haven of beautiful things to see, the nature's forest is so diverse so many butterflies and so many beautiful people to see. Vietnam looks a lot like Manila, food is so good. I learned to eat food by using chopstick, i loved the coffee and I met people from different countries. I met a guy from india I liked him so much that I wished I met him when I was still single - it wasn't even close, he is so attached to his indian culture that he promised to be only for his wife, he will be announcing himself next year so his parents will be looking for the girl who will be a match for him, a younger one. Lucky girl I thought, He never had an intimate relationship with any girl, just girl friends, he said he will not subscribe to that kind of feeling as it will cause him problems: for him and his family, he said he loves his parents so much and he believes that his parents are right in all aspects especially looking for his wife to be. He is so wonderful. I wished i had an indian husband instead of a filipino guy. I asked him what if he had an extramarital affair? he said he'll keep it to himself and he will not leave his wife but will love her more, I just told him good luck...hah!
Then as the days progress we grew closer to each other, he loves playing badminton, I played with him. We played cards, We laughed at each others bloopers but he's not as interested in me as I was about this "thing"about us, He's more into looking for younger woman and I am not that one, so I told myself not to be influenced or just detached myself to this kind of admiration for him and just focused on the reseach, but it was just as hard as it get's stronger everyday, for 8 days we were so close, on the last days he would hold my hand and whenever i'm afraid of the leeches and the highest part of the mountains he would hold my arms, probably he was just being nice but he was so irrestible. so i just let myself be in this kind of situation. And hoped that in any point at any time we were together he liked me, as much as i liked him. but it wasnt that easy i guess. I missed him now that i am back here in manila.
To forget him which i knew i can do, i will, i dont know, i liked him so much. I'll just let this all pass I guess. Back to work. I wish we could see each other again. although he doesnt like somebody like me. I guess.

soooo haaaaarrrddd!!!!

so hard to go to work when there are people who puts you down, an officemate told me that he doesn't understand why would i complain, i have been through hardships before so this wouldnt come in as a shock, i guess he's right at some point, but , i know, no complaining, thats what i'm practising right now....

I was shortlisted to go to vietnam do mountaineering stuff, i guess i'm not as excited as i was before, probably because my stats at work is down, i'm not having good relationships at work though i tried to be as nice as i can, but i guess there are people whom you really can't please because they have issues with themselves, i guess letting go of these kinds of friendships will be worth it....

Though there are some worth keeping but these people you can just count your fingers with...

My husband tells me not to enroll my kids at public school, as if he's giving allimony enough to take them to good schools, he can enroll his mistress and have her taken her board exams but he'll never make extra effort for me and my kids and yet he expects our family to be as socially affordable than just change his own self and fix the broken lives he made... i just wish he's.... never mind.... don't complain...

his time will come... and that bitch as well....

i hope i can go to vienna...

i hope i can go to vienna and see my true love....

i hope to see the places you go, do the things you do, feel your body next to mine,

when i'm tired you'll make love twice as how hard i work....
but that will be in vain....

your my one truest friend, the one i grew up with... in my next life, will it be us??

we're so open about our feelings what we want to do with each other, how i wish, we can just make it come true....

God forgive me, we're both married and i just cant stop thinking about you... with me...
we'll try and work things out when we'll meet again in april....

this song's for me.... i guess....

Lyrics: Neyo - So Sick

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that im alone
Cuz right now it says that we Cant come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But its the only way i hear your voice anymore (its ridiculous)

Its been months And for some reason i just (cant get over us)
And im stronger then this (enough is enough)
No more walkin round With my head down
Im so over being blue Cryin over you

And im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender i have Thats marked July 15th
Because since theres no more you
Theres no more anniversary
Im so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory And how every song reminds me Of what used to be

Thats the reason im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears So done with wishing you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone) Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)

Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go Turning off the radio
Cuz im so sick of love songs

So tired of tears So done with wishing she was still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio? (why cant i turn off the radio?)
Said im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears So done with wishing she was still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow

So why cant i turn off the radio? (why cant i turn off the radio?)
And im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears So done with wishin you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow

Why cant i turn off the radio? (why cant i turn off the radio?)
Why cant i turn off the radio?