way back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All i want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
and I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I dont know if it's real
or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

I almost had an affair with a married Guy like me probably because he was really a wonderful guy and his words seemed liked the words that I wanted to hear from my husband - which I knew would never happen because he is already with his mistress in london...

This offficemate of mine was one of the wonderful men I've ever met, really. He was such a sweet guy we send messages even on our day-offs... even if he's with his family....

But then again there are things that make me a person with respect - respect for his wife and his son

A Dr. Phil puts it simply I asked myself these questions and of course temptations like these in the workplace are very rampant here are the questions I'll always keep in my heart...

Is it fair to her? She's been married to him for however many years, cleaned up after him when he's sick, raised children with him, sacrificed with him, dealt with the "damn dailies," then you come in at the 11th hour and provide a contrast to that that's new and exciting and fun. You are intruding upon her turf. You are a trespasser. It is no different than being a thief in the night. It is no different than breaking into their house and stealing their things.

all my broken pieces

I want to be sure that I win the battle for my happiness as a seperated person before I think about another marriage. By this time, I know from experience that marriage never makes anybody happy. Marriage only justifies the state in which marriage found you. my happiness is too important for God to put in anyone else's hands but mine and His.

GOD has helped me find happiness as a single parent, I should be very careful about risking that happiness to any relationship. As you know, there is only one thing worse than not being married, and that is being married to the wrong person. And it happened to me - ouch!

Take a careful look at another person before you get involved with him or her. It is not enough to know that he or she is in love with you and you to him or her. You need to know that the person has found happiness and joy in his or her relationship with Jesus. Then, if you have found that same happiness and joy, neither of you will need the other to make him or her happy. Rather, by bringing your personal happiness into each other's lives, you may both find greater happiness.

As broken as my life may be, GOD helps me put it together again. I Put all my broken pieces in His hands!

new beginnings 2...

I was in the brink of giving-up, so frustrated I cried for 2 days...

How would you explain to a 7 year-old child that you can't give her the birthday party that she had planned, coz her dad never gave any child support to help me about our household expenses???

It's so sickenning to realize that life has it's up and downs but this is just too much, too much I tell you...

Everyday you try to stand up to prove to yourself that you can make it without him
for you to prove to yourself that there is life after the break-up but....

why is this never-ending journey... a never-ending problem....

I was thinking, can I just learn to do wierd stuff like study voodoo or witchcraft and just hurt him??? I don't have money to sue him, I dont have money to follow him, even if have money I wont waste it of course...

yes I am moving on but you see, what I am trying to say is that these things, these frustations are part of this whole thing something....yes?

but then again there are things that makes me feel really frustrated like bel's promises to our kid that he had broken...he's just giving our daughter the message that even a 7 year-old child cannot trust him and his words right? And I hate to see my kid so dissapponted!

What am I to do? I've got a hand full of things too, financially speaking so if he's not helping out who am I going to turn to? this is really insane...

new beginnings...